The Journey Within

... RatherOdd.org   That's right, my new website is up and running - but nowhere near complete right now.  Any contributions of bizarre, gross or odd happenings will be greatly received and probably published too!

The down side to that is, I'm suspending blogging on here for the immediate future as I just don't have time to maintain all my sites at once.

so from now on you can either drop by ratherodd.org or visit the rather odd blog

 Man, I cant believe it's been a month since I posted on here.  I only dropped by with the intention of posting a couple of photos that I took today but seeing as its been so long I'd better put a proper update on here.

Truth be told, I've been focussing on my other blog on Blogger really.  this one has sort of fallen by the wayside at the moment,  I don't know for sure how much longer I'm going to keep this going.

So, to the update then.  Work wise, everything is not too bad, considering that the country has  pretty much gone to the dogs right now.  Bearing in mind that I'm in the business of selling top quality, high value luxury goods (after all, thats basically what Mac's are)  business is going pretty well.  I guess that people who are most likely to be interested in buying such a product are not, as yet, feeling the true depth of the economic situation.

I have to say that I'm glad that I'm out of selling over priced shit to unsuspecting idiots.  The more I hear about life in my the company that I left behind, the more I am glad that I got out when I did and on the terms that I did.  There are a few friends that I feel sorry for, but in all honesty, most of the decent staff have now left and gone on to better things.  For the vast majority that are left, you are shit, the company is shit and YOU GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE.  

I suspect that this entry will be read by the little weasel that tried to speed up my leaving (I still see your IP address popping up from time to time) - I don't give a shit my little friend, go squealing to that manager of yours, there's nothing that he can do now.  There's nothing that the company can do now.

The whole lot of you can all eat a big pile of my steaming shit from a plate of broken glass whilst being shafted by the idiots that are trying to run the company

Enjoy it - YOU DESERVE IT!

 Well, ok maybe not quite but I certainly seem to have tapped into a groove.  I wrote and uploaded a new song on Monday and it seems to have taken off in a big way - currently at No 40 of over 10,000 songs in the soundclick.com charts.  I'm offering it as a free download for a limited time, via my myspace page.  I think I'll keep it that way for another week or so the put it over to being a paid download.  Go and grab it while its free by visiting here and downloading 'Mystica'  any comments or feedback welcomed.

On the other hand, I seem to be banging my head on a brick wall at work today.  We need to up our game as the targets get harder and the recession gets a little deeper but I seem to be the only one with any fight in me and as soon as I start to talk up for a good fight, all I seem to get is deffeatism and resistance.  However, my boss was in for a flying visit today and he had a work in quiet with them I think.  All I know is that they were bad mouthing him after he left and were pissed off for the rest of the day.  There were only two decent sales of the day and it was down to me to get those in and take the money.  It pisses me off that the team is only up for it when they want to be.  

However, that said, they're still a million miles better than the retards that I used to work with.  I bet they're really pissed off now as I hear that they cant earn any team bonuses anymore.  So it's now back to the old days of sales comissions again.  So the whole 'we don't pay comission' thing lasted all of about a year then.  Once a scummy pressure selling environment, always a scummy pressure selling environment!  Definitely well pleased to be out of there, thats for sure!  Working for a growing company, with good people, selling things that people want, getting paid better money and having an easier time of it on general!

Can I get an 'Amen!' brother?

AMEN!

... another post appeared, as if by magic.

'Oh my', Alice exclaimed!  'So much must have happened in the last month, wont you please tell me some of it?'


And with an invitation like that, I will proceed.  Quick round up;  work, heavy going - mac's are hard to sell when no one wants to buy.  My boss is getting a bit hot under the collar because we are not going to hit target this month.  My car is sick - supposedly it needs a new alternator but I think the garage are having me on.  A little bit of tlc and it seems just fine to me.  Other than that, not a great deal going down right now to be honest.

When Easter come round, I think that I am going over to Oxford to spend it with the Family.  I actually get Easter off, one of the perks of working for a company that cares about its staff - I cant see my previous employer giving me Easter weekend off!  Other that that I think thats pretty much about it right now.

Have to say that I am seriously looking forward to the start of the F1 season in a few hours time.  I watched qualifying thismorning - getting up at 5am to do so.  This looks poised to be the best season for some long time.  Bring it on!  thats what I say.  I think thats about it for now, its not very exciting but atleast I've bothered to put an update on here.

If I could trully have any job, I'd love to be a preacher or a vicar.  Helping to deliver the Love of God to the world.  As much as I would love to do that, the chances of being called to do that are pretty slim.  And it's not something that you can just do.  You have to be chosen and be called to it.

I think that the ting that appeals to me about it is the fact that I would be helping other people and sharing with them what I have found.  Its something that could take me miles away from here too.  I could find myself in many different parts of the country.  Maybe even many different countries of the world.

As much as I'd love to do it.  I know that I am not ready to be called right now, I still have too much of an attachment to physical possessions.  Maybe one day I would be in a better position.  Who knows?  Maybe there's something else that I could do instead?

The Lord sent a messenger to bring me back to reality.  At the top of this mountain, with only a tiny, single track footway up, surrounded in slate tippings, a Land Rover appeared.  It drove across the edge of the lake and the disappeared over the side of the mountain.  It is an area that I know well and I am certain that there was no way for it to have got up or down from there.  But it did, and it interrupted my prayer and brought me back to reality.

SSo that is where I would go,  it is my peace, my place with God.  The one place that I know that I would be safe, cared for and in the presence of my Lord and Master.  Why he chose there to meet me, I don't know but it is such an important place for me.  It is there that I would choose.

Given a free choice, I would love it to be with the one who I with me last time I was there, a life companion, a soul mate.  Someone who trully gets me and gives me the space to be me.  Who knows, may be we will be there again some day?

 Ok, I've been away from here for a while.  Things have been keeping me occupied work wise.  There's plenty going on at the moment that I can be getting on with and hat is taking my efforts so it's taken this long for me to get back round to an update on here.  truth be told, I'm only on here now because I have a day off!

My boss was due to turn up today so my deputy will have the pleasure of his company for the day.  I am definitely glad that I am off!  Its not that I don't get on with my boss - I do, but whenever you can duck out of the firing line it's always a good idea to do so.

Having had some time off today it's given me a while to notice a few things.  Spring is definitely coming.  I saw a bumble bee today and the rabbits in the garden are getting frisky.  Whilst the mornings don't seem to be getting much lighter just yet, the evenings are getting longer and the days are warmer.  It's still winter really and it could all turn cold again jsut like that, but it feels like the recent snow and freezing weather was winter's final roll of the dice and now Spring is just itching tom come through.  Certainly it feels that way anyhow.

On a work note, I can start to count the days to pay day.  Nor before time either.  What with changing jobs I've had to survive two months without a pay cheque.  No matter, I have more than enough savings to keep things balanced, but it will be nice to get a normal income routine again.

I've also just finished negotiating a new lease for my house.  I'm now assured of it all until July.  At that point, I think I'll relocate to nearer work.  It also co incides with the end of my probationary period so once my employment is confirmed (as I'm sure it will be) then I can relocate to nearer the shop.  And knowing my luck, its at that moment that they'll decide to promote me to area level so that I have to look after a number of stores and keep moving around.

We'll see anyway.  No running before I can walk.  And plenty of looking before I leap.

the future's bright, thefuture's apple...

Yesterday and today I'cve had to get into work.  I now have 2 days off to enjoy the weather but the last two days have had just a few 'brown' moments!  All the roads in Eastleigh and Salisbury have not been Salted, nor had the main road from the Motorway to Salisbury hadn't been salted either and it was carnage.  There's some total wankers out there.  I say some guy loose it and spin his car off into a ditch - not very quick and I'm sure he wasnt hurt but the fact that he had just tried to overtake a load of cars on an unsalted road - serves him right for being a tosser.

My real gripe is simply this - th weather forecast has been telling us about this for three or four days before it arrived - why in the name of all that is right and good CAN THEY NOT MANAGE TO SALT THE FUCKING ROADS?!? - It's not like they haven't had notice!

Got A couple of Photos tho'


So I woke up to this, a good 4 inches of snow.  The trackway down to the road was frozen solid and I shat enough bricks to build a wall getting the car down it thismorning!  The road from the bottom was one solid sheet of ice as well.  Might be nice if the council had decided to grit any of the roads?



This is my garden again, looking the other way from the house.  It looked absolutely fantastic and reminded me of childhood.  It's strage how we always seem to remember snow like it happened every winter, when in acyuality it was probably quite a rare occurrance.  Although I do have fond memoreis of me and Dad going sledging one year, on Crabtree Hill, just outside Basingstoke.  We went down  the slope so fast that when we reached the bottom we discovered that we had brokeb the sledge! - Happy Days!



Anyway, after a marathon 2.5 hour drive back (normally 40 minutes) I got back to a cold house - and I mean COLD, 10 deg C!  First thing's first, even before starting to cook me a fantastic dinner, its all about the fire!  Now I've got a good old blaze going and it's warmed up nicely.  But, it'll be cold tomorrow when I'm off so I need to get out and buy some more coal some how.

For now I'll settle for feeling warm and enjoying a nice glass of calvados.

Keeps warm and keep safe everyone.

I  had a day off from work today. In itself that's nothing special. But it was, it was the best I can describe. Pure freedom, pure joy. The day started with some housework. I cleaned the place from end to end and that felt so good. It's not that my standards slipped when I was out of work, it was just harder to get motivated to do what needed to be done. After a couple of hours cleaning I went shopping. Nothing special, a couple of food items and some coal for the stove. How amazing it felt just to pick up what I needed without having to count the exact pennies as to whether I could afford it or not and that is such a blessing, I cant begin to describe it.

When I got back I took my bike out for a ride. My motorbike has always been what I live for, I was born to live life on two wheels. It is freedom, wind in your hair and flies in your teeth. At one with everything that is around you and feeling every little thing, magnified 10 fold. But, when you have no job, every penny you have spare goes in the car tank to get you to the interviews that could get you working again.

It was heatbreaking looking at my baby sitting on the driveway, oiling up every little nut and bolt to keep the rust away, having just enough petrol in the tank to start the engine evey now and then to keep a charge in the battery but not enough to go for a ride.

In the knowledge that I have been paid, I cannot begin to describe how good it felt today to go out for a ride, just for the pleasure. I scrimped and saved to buy her in the first place and she is my baby. (yes, ok ok, its a sad thing for a man to love his motorcycle and to treat it like a person but I make no appology!) and I cannot describe how free I felt today, cold air, wind and the odd ray of winter sun. It just felt so amazing. I cannot begin to count such a blessing and how it makes me feel.

 Its been a while in the negotiations and the training department but I can now go public to the whole world about my new job.  I am the manager of Stormfront Apple Retail in Salisbury.  Earning far more than a shitty Currys salary, plus I get a free top of the range Mac Laptop which gets upgraded every time theres a new model.  Other than that, there's the FANTASTIC working environment, its casual dress and no pressure.  No more butt fucking people for extended warranties and bullshiting them to buy things that they simply dont need.  Its an honnes, fun and exciting environment and somewhere that I can trully match off the work that I am doing with my Christian beliefs.

So to the little worm who set me up in Currys (and I know who you are, your anonymity didn't last too long when I have friends in the right places - AND WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, YOU WILL GET YOURS...) - to that little worm I say this, You did me a massive favour and I am so much better off for it.  However, you had better watch your back because some day I will be in your neck of the woods and then I will have my day...

Until then I will go back to my nice big salary, a £1949 17" Macbook Pro for free and shit loads of other perks.  Life is all goods some times.

When Satan smites you down, belief in the risen Lord will always restore you in time.

FRIENDS ONLY POST AVAILABLE FOR 15th JAN - LOG IN TO READ

Over Christmas I went down to Devon to see the family.  I took my camera down with me with the intention of taking a few 'snaps' of the family on Chrostmas Day.  That didnt happen for some reason but we went out for a walk on boxing day, up onto Dartmoor.  I got to take afew photos then and here's the best for you to look at;



The Backy Falls on Dartmoor, its a long walk down there and it seems twice as long to get back up!  However, its another of natures little gems.  I like waterfalls, they give me a chance to play with my camer a little :-)



I alwys seem to take good photos of fungi.  Maybe its because they dont move?!



Ok, I've edited this one a little, cropped top and bottom to give a mutch better aspect ration for the landscape.  No other trickery though, the colours are real.  This was taken on Boxing Day evening just outside Teignmouth in Devon.

SO that's a little taster of the phot's, there's a few more of them in the scrap book if you can really be bothered to go and have a look.

The good, the bad and the ugly from last year and a few plans for the year ahead - yep, its that time of year again!

Friends Only Post

( Friends - click here to read on... )

...Will stab you in the back....

So my little firend, You have done me a favour.  since leaving the shittyness of a certain previous employer behind, I am soon to start my new job with a salary that is damn nearly twice the pittance that I was earning.  And I dont have to take the pretentions crap that a certain company spends its time shovelling.  Never mind, once the share price drops down to 1p (only another 9p to go!) maybe I buy them asll with 1 months pay, yes?

So that is me sorted out.  But what goes arround, comes arround.  And now other things need sorting out.

For every viewer an IP address is captured, for every IP address, an reader.  For certain readers - when the times is right - You'll get what you deserve.  I'LL MAKE SURE OF THAT

Its been a long time,
I shouldn't have left you
Without my dub beats 
to step to
When I grab The microphone
You'd better hit the dex
Time's up,
Sorry I kept you

It's been a long time
Since I had ta
Pick up the microphone
And get Badda
Aint no other MC
That compares to this
Thats right
The rest dont matter

Ok, so that's a pretty bizzare statement for a title. Let me start by quanitfying it a little.  A few weeks back I joined a community on here called DearGod.  I put a few posts there over the last couple of weeks and read a few entries from other members.  My previous exerience of online communities is that usually one can go unnoticed for months or even years and hardly anyone bothers to read posts or comments because they are all in their own seperate little cliques.  I must admit that I wasn't really expecting any different from this one, if I was even expecting anything at all.  My initial intention of joining was purely to find somewhere to post these entries with like minded people.

"We unite, we come together on the basis of what we have in common" (Lyrics from 'We Unite' By Ellis Dee)

Yet all of a sudden I find that today there is a response from another member.  So what is it, perhaps a hater telling me that I need to get a life (see previous entries for a little fan club member that I picked up along the way).  Stragely enough no.  It was a message from another community memeber, who I have never spoken to before yet somehow they felt ehough to leave a comment of support and an offer of prayer.

I know that it is a Christian community but still, in this day and age how many of us trully look out for our 'neighbours'?  I'll be honnest - I dont do it anywhere near as much as I should.  It's got me thinking though.  It makes me feel the need for a physical community even more.  I'm beginning to wonder if my ongoing search for a partner is not baring any fruit because I am looking in the wrong places (well, I know that actually)  To be more precise, would I find a place within a community and then find that there were many suitable partners arround me?

If I move to Eastleigh would I then find that there was a community into which I would fit?  Is it even possible for me to be able to move to Eastleigh?  I keep looking at rental prices and they seem to be more than I can comfortably afford and with the economy heading south right now, the last thing that I want to be doing is getting my self in a situation with tight finances.  Its a big jump and I really dont know what to do.

So many thoughts and no answers.  Typical huh?

So I've been away for w hile.  There's a coupple of reasons for that.  I've been on holliday (photos bellow)  And also I've had some real shit deal with familly wise.  A few days before were due depart My coisin took an overdose adn was rusahed into hospital - only none decided to tell me untill I am about to fly out of the country.  I cant tell you hown strong my urge was just to say fuck it to the whole thing and not go, just stay by my cousins side but that wouldnt have been that productive.  ANyone who knows me will tell you how much I ove my cousin - she's like a daughter to me.  I can remeber when she was only a couple of months old, holding her in my arms - and there's a photo to prove it!  I can also remeber whenb she was a todler, pushing her on the swings in the park.  I was under the thumb then and I still am now!  SHe's one of only  people that I can honnestly say that I would gladly take a bullet for without question.

I cant tell you how many paryers I have said over the last few days.  Both for Harii and for my Aunt, who , despite being shat upon by my useless Uncle time and time again, finds the strength to carry on and to look after my cousin through thick and thin.  Also for Harri s 2 best friends who are the only ones arround her who genuinely seem to have her best interests at heart.  SO there we go, maybe that will say why I have been away for a while.

That said, on with the photographs;

The Hotel where I stayed

 

Pollensa Port Marina



View across the bay



Pollensa Bay by sunset



Fish!!!



Cactus flowers, just alittle reminder how hot it was!



A bit of 'culture'  - the altar in a monestary where the classical compser 'Chopin' stayed

 

My new bike...





Money well spent and I am tully thankful to God that I cna afford such luxuries.

I'm not going to find about the job until a week today... various cockups and things on the company's part.  On the other hand...

Feeling over the moon.  I'm just about to go and order a nice shiny new motornike from my firendly neighbourhood dealer.  That is, assuming that I get a half decent trade in from  my old bike.

So what do you think?  Is this me?  Personally I cant wait...

God I hope I get a decent trade in for my old one!

I've had my interview now...  I drove down in beautiful sunshine, stereo on full blast.  I felt at ease when I got there, fond somewhere to park without too many dramas, said a quick final prayer to be given an opportunity to give a good account of myself and went in.  I must admit it wasnt quite what I was exepecting.  The new area manager was younger than I was expecting and a thoroughly nice man.  I guess that he was probably no more than 30.  He didnt seem to carry himself with all the self important crap that the last one used to - I can see why he got the job.

He certainly made me feel at ease and got me top open up and start talking about things.  I Just hope that I didnt open up too much.  I dont think I did.  I gave a good account of myself, and I thank Jesus that my prayer was answered.  I feel that I did what I could.  All I have ever prayed over this opportunity is taht I am given the opportunity to try me best.  And I feel that I have.

It's out of my hands now, if not for very long.  Aparrently I will find out about the result tomorrow.  Atlast, someone like me who can actually make decisions without pratting about over them indeffinitley adn wasting everyones time. 

Most importantly, I think that this is someone that I can work with and work for if I am successful in the application.  I think that, over time, I would have had problems with the previous one.  I dont know what the outcome will be.  If I had a weakness I think that it was lack of experience in a store manager role.  That said, I did have my secondment at Newbury.  I dont know if other candidates have had similar but that is certainly an advantage.  All the candidates are deputy managers looking for their first store on their own so I dont know how I stack up in that field.  I'd like to think that I have an advantage but in reality I dont know.

Seeing as today is officially my day off I'm now back at home in the beautiful sunshine with a nice cold bottle of cider and life feels good.  Its not about the result tomorrow, its not even about the long term.  Right now its all about the warm son on my face and this beautiful day that feels like the first true day of summer - and I feel free.